Wednesday, March 20, 2013

{WIP} Gratitude

Daddy and Me
I touched about it in my last blog post, but lately I've been having a very hard time of it.  A few weeks ago, I went to call my dad at 5 pm like I always do - I was running a few minutes late and knew he worries.  When I couldn't get in touch with him for twenty minutes, I panicked and called my mother. She rushed home and found him collapsed at the bottom of the basement stairs where he had been since early that morning.  You see, my dad had a brain tumor 8 years ago...and it apparently came back.  The only reason I panicked was because my mom called me that weekend to let me know she was worried about him and was planning on making an appointment with a neurologist.  After a very trying week my father had an emergency angiogram and brain surgery to remove the tumor.  He survived, again. But when he fell down the stairs he fractured his back.  He has only recently been discharged from rehab, and was just informed he has brain cancer.  Apparently a non-bad form of cancer, which only means it is slow forming and won't spread.  He will be starting chemotherapy soon....and I am going to knit him or crochet him some spare mustaches.  I can picture my daddy bald, but not without a mustache.  I am a daddy's girl, through and through and it is hurting me more than you could ever know that I live almost 4 hours away and can't be there for my dad.  I am going through some tough personal things...and life is overwhelming at the moment.  I've had no motivation for much of anything...let alone knitting. But I'm going to be starting therapy next week and hope to rediscover myself and find away to help me cope with this awfulness.

My knitterly friends Erin & Julie suggested I join in the Fat Squirrel Speaks Gratitude KAL on Ravelry.  A KAL to remind us of what we are grateful for while we make something for ourselves.  I can honestly say I drew a blank when trying to decide what I'm grateful for - I know i have much to be grateful for: I have a well paying job, my dad despite everything is alive, I have amazing friends and a loving boyfriend. I am very grateful for Nate who lets me fall apart and just holds me telling me he loves me and it will be OK.  But sometimes I wonder if it really will ever be OK again.

While I try to remember the silver linings, I am going to be knitting myself a pair of fingerless gloves. I've decided on the Vancouver Fog pattern (found here on Ravelry) in some scrumptious Mad Tosh vintage (Earl Grey color way) - I went and did some deep stash diving to find this special yarn I've been saving for a rainy day. I literally just Cast we shall see. 


  1. That is very sad! I hope the story has a beautiful ending! Sending heeling thoughts for both your dad and you!
    That is some very pretty yarn that was hiding in your stash. I have never knit with Mad Tosh, another thing on my list to try. :)

  2. Sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope that you have a happy ending. The yarn is beautiful and I hope it can help to keep you busy. I was so grateful for your comment on my blog.

  3. Thanks for listening to your two wooly mommas. Julie and I know you are having challenging days and we hope that you'll find some cheer in Amy Beth's KAL. I love your choice of pattern and yarn. Thoughts of encouragement and hope are sent your way. Hugs, e

  4. Amy, I am so sorry to hear about your dad! My thought and prayers are with you and your family through this tough time. It does sound like your dad is a fighter and hope he can kick this too!

    I hope you work everything else out in your life and that therapy will help you get back to "normal". Stay positive and let knitting be your therapy for you and your dad!!!

  5. Everything has a way of working out in the end. Whether it's the way we want things to work out is a matter of opinion. Sometimes, what we think we want and what we actually need are very different.

    With that said, I hope all goes as well as you want.

    Also, I've made the Vancouver Fog Fingerless Mitts and they honestly only took a week or so. I love them (except the top by my fingers is a little too stretchy for me).

  6. One thing you should be especially grateful for is the fact that you acted so quickly when you couldn't reach your dad. You and your mom helped save his life and that is no small thing. Enjoy the KAL!

  7. sending good thoughts for all in your family, and a cyber hug for youxxxxx


Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment! ~Amy